The word is out. Winter is in!
The fresh white snow. The cozy evenings snuggled inside in the warmth. Fire crackling in the fireplace. Mug of hot cocoa in hand. It all sounds great, doesn’t it? Well for 10-20% of adults in the US, this is not the coziest season of year. But rather, the season of the winter blues or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). But what causes this? 1. Less sunlight • It is not just the physical lack of sun on your skin, but a shift in biological clock that occurs when there is less sunlight. This internal clock is responsible for regulating mood, sleep, and hormones. 2. Brain chemical imbalance • Because sunlight helps regulate serotonin (which contributes to feelings of happiness), a lack of sunlight in the winter can exacerbate feelings of sadness. 3. Melatonin boost • Melatonin is a chemical that affects your sleep patterns and mood. With the lack of sunshine, an overstimulation of melatonin can occur. Symptoms of this include feeling sluggish and sleepy. Ok, the cold dark days are causing my sadness. What can I possibly do about that? Well. While you can’t control the season or weather, here is what you can do… 1. Start or resume therapy. Our therapists at Healing Reflections Therapy are available to help in-person or virtually. 2. Spend time with people who bring you glimmers of joy 3. Spend time outside in the limited window the sun is shining 4. Adding light to your space that mimics the sun’s light 5. Discover a new indoor hobby or rediscover one that you have not done in a while. Need ideas? Maybe baking a new recipe, painting, journaling, make a soup, reading a new book, do a home yoga or meditation video. Reference https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9293-seasonal-depression Author: Anne Marie Mathews, MS, SMFT I am currently accepting therapy clients. Feel free to reach out if you need help.
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Over the holiday season people often come together with families, sometimes to celebrate, sometimes to grieve losses that tend to congregate around these times of year. As is often the case when families get together, sometimes things are said or done that are hurtful. Sometimes painful truths of the past are unmasked. People are often forced to reconcile with these new harsh truths and realities and to cope with their hurt feelings or the way they have hurt others, sometimes intentionally, but more often than not inadvertently or unintentionally, yet the hurt remains.
Dealing with the aftermath, once problems surface, means that healing and reconciliation may be needed. Some may find that their friends or family members are distant, if not not cut off from them until they attempt to acknowledge the hurt or make amends. One of the biggest challenges relationships face is when the offending party refuses really to acknowledge the harm done. A good apology is more than just saying “sorry.” Effective apologies help repair relationships, build trust, and promote healing. Here are the key elements that make an apology meaningful and effective. 1. Acknowledge the Harm What it means: Recognize the specific behavior that caused harm or hurt.
validate the other person’s feelings. 2. Take Responsibility What it means: Own up to your role in the situation without excuses or shifting blame.
Why it matters: Shifting blame undermines trust. Apologies are meaningful when they come with accountability. 3. Express Regret and Empathy What it means: Show genuine remorse for the impact your behavior had on the other person.
wounds. 4. Offer a Plan to Make Amends What it means: Outline steps to fix the mistake or prevent it from happening again.
Why it matters: Offering amends signals that you’re committed to change, not just offering empty words. 5. Be Sincere and Timely What it means: Deliver your apology with sincerity, and don’t wait too long to do so.
Why it matters: A well-timed apology keeps emotions from festering and shows the other person you care about their feelings. 6. Avoid Repeating the Same Mistake What it means: After an apology, work on personal growth to avoid the same behavior in the future.
A good apology does not ask for forgiveness of the one that has been harmed. That only further burdens the victim with guilt and responsibility. Quick Recap:
While apologizing may be hard and requires the strength of being vulnerable and swallowing your pride, when done well, the reward is worth it. Keep in mind though, if you are only apologizing as a tactic to get more of YOUR OWN needs met, the other person may see this as a manipulation tactic and may not be willing to accept it. True apologies and amends come from your own desire to heal the person you hurt, sometimes out of a commitment to faith or justice to do right, and they acknowledge that when you attempt to heal others you also heal yourself. If you are still struggling and need help, our counselors at Healing Reflections Therapy are also available to help mend the broken divides. Check out our Meet Our Therapists page to find a clinician that best fits for you. Author: Megan Garza, MA, LMFT |
AuthorSMegan Garza, MA, LMFT is a certified Specialist in Treating Trauma at a Supervisory level and is Licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist. She specializes in work with sexual abuse survivors. Archives
February 2025
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