April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month: How to Access Support that Many People Don't Know Exists4/13/2026  April is Sexual Assault awareness month. We are seemingly inundated with news about sexual violence in the headlines lately. So, let's talk about some resources that many people don't know about for seeking help with domestic or sexual violence. These resources are primarily for Missouri, but there are national resources available as well.
Victim Advocates Did you you know that you can get an advocate to accompany you to to the hospital or make a police report? You can pre-arrange this with them to ensure you have the safest experience where they can even schedule the meeting with a detective and give you follow-up updates on your case. Places like the YWCA Metro St. Louis and Crime Victims Advocacy Center, and Children's Advocacy Center are great for this kind of work Safe at Home Program Sometimes after folks have been in an abusive relationship or have experienced an interpersonal violence episode, they struggle with feeling safe at home. Survivors may worry about their perpetrator having access to them, or stalking them. Did you know that that you can sign up for the Safe at Home Address confidentiality program to keep your address out of public record, to ensure your privacy where you live. You can sign-up here for free https://www.sos.mo.gov/business/safeathome Offender research tools Another tool people have in Missouri to help keep themselves safe is using Casenet to research individuals name to see if they have criminal or civil cases of public record in the state. Sometimes knowing someone's history can be a great tool for personal advocacy and protection, especially when dating. Case update Tools If you experienced a crime where your offender has been adjudicated and want to know the release date status of your offender, you can use MOVANS to get automatic updates on them. This is designed to help victims stay notified of their case and when their future safety may potentially be threatened. Crime Victims Compensation Many people don't know this, but if you experienced certain types of crimes and filed a police report and are actively participating with the police in the investigation, you may be eligible for have any expenses incurred by you as a result of the crime, reimbursed to you. This may include medications, medical visits, therapy costs, funeral expenses, and lost wages. There are stipulations involved, but filing a claim is relatively simple, though the re-imbursement process may take some time. If you think you or a family member are eligible, you can seek info here https://dps.mo.gov/dir/programs/cvc/crime-victims-compensation.phpdps.mo.gov/dir/programs/cvc/crime-victims-compensation.php Therapy Support An extraordinarily valuable tool in the healing process from trauma is getting therapy. Our therapists at Healing Reflections Therapy: Diversity, Trauma, and Wellness Services are experts at understanding the complexity of trauma and treating the resulting wounds. We utilize evidence-based approaches to help clients address their acute traumas from recent events as well as addressing chronic concerns from traumas that occurred decades ago. Reach out to us today, and we can help you find the help you need https://www.hopehealreflect.com/contact-us.html . For those not local to St. Louis, you can use Rainn.org to lookup a sexual assault near you. Group Therapy Support Another valuable tool is group therapy. I often recommend individual therapy paired with group therapy as a part of the healing journey. It is a wonderful opportunity to share your story with other survivors and see that you are not alone. Places like Safe Connections and YWCA Metro St. Louis are known to offer this for free. Survivors.org also offers a virtual support group. Healing Your Body As many people are now aware due to education on ACES and the popularity of Bessel van der Kolk's "The Body Keeps the Score," the body is often impacted by trauma and carries a health cumulative impact. Resources like trauma-informed yoga have come about to help this process. This month, Survivors.org is offering free virtual trauma informed yoga workshops as well as art therapy workshops. Joining the survivor community can be a transformative experience. It can help reframe your relationship with your victimized self, help release you from the bonds of secrecy with your perpetrator, and empower you to find a community of others that understand and empathize with your experience. You don't have to go through this alone. It's never too late. For more resources and information, you can check out our trauma resources information page and our sexual trauma resources page. Author: Megan Garza, MA, LMFT Megan is a Co-owner of Healing Reflections Therapy and Sexual Trauma specialist. You can schedule an appointment with her today here.
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 Photo by Engin Akyurt: https://www.pexels.com/photo/red-couch-on-the-floor-4177669/ We recently shared an article addressing therapists ghosting clients, and I wanted to touch on the occasions where clients ghost their therapists. There are lots of reasons that a client might stop responding to their therapist or scheduling sessions: most of which are centered around avoiding discomfort and fear.
Fear of Embarrassment Whether it is a misunderstanding about session times, location, or cost, sometimes a client gets upset with their therapist and then realizes they made a mistake. As a result, they feel embarrassed enough that they don’t want to face the therapist. If anyone is going to understand making a mistake, it is a therapist! I know I will certainly make my own fair share and embarrass myself regularly, but I would hate to let that embarrassment get in the way of all the good work we can do together. Fear of Confrontation Our therapists are human and make mistakes; therefore, from time to time, they may do or say something that upsets us. Maybe they made a comment you didn’t appreciate or rubbed you the wrong way, maybe they seemed upset with you or like they weren’t paying attention, maybe you didn’t feel heard or understood, or maybe they guided a session in a way that didn’t feel helpful to you. Speak up! It’s scary to confront anyone, really, but people also put therapists on a pedestal that makes it all the more intimidating. As a therapist, I am here to work alongside you, not dictate how you live your life or lord over you with my great and powerful wisdom. As therapists, we strive to be very aware and informed for the safety and comfort of all of our clients, but we still have blind spots. If I said or did something unhelpful, I want to know. Fear of Shame Let’s say you didn’t finish, or even start, the assignment your therapist gave you in the last session, and it feels like it would be easier or more comfortable to cancel the session or not show up. After all, who wants to hear, “That is so disappointing, it’s a shame you didn’t do the work between sessions. What are we even doing here?” I’m not going to shame you for not doing “the homework.” There are no grades in therapy, and if something I asked you to do was difficult, then let’s talk about it. If doing things that are good for you were easy, then you probably wouldn’t be in therapy to begin with. When something is difficult, it is the perfect place to dive deeper. Avoiding Responsibility With that said, there will be times when I will challenge something you said or push back against a core belief, and that can trigger feelings of shame and blame as a gut reaction. This is especially relevant in couples therapy since there is likely already an established pattern of blame. Often, someone coming to therapy falls into one of three categories: the visitor, the complainant, or the customer. The Visitor: This person doesn’t feel ownership over what brought them to therapy, and they are likely there because someone else has asked them to be, either a loved one requested they go, or they are court-mandated to be there. They are just visiting therapy and passing through with no real intention of using the time to their advantage. The Complainant: This person can identify a problem and is upset by it, but they see it as mainly external.
The Customer: This person is willing to acknowledge their role in the problem and ready to work and take action to create change. They are aware of the investment they are putting into this process and are motivated to make the most out of it. Individuals who fall into the visitor or complainant category may ghost their therapists as soon as they can. Oftentimes, the ghosting comes when they have grown tired of being asked to take accountability before they are ready to do so. Going to therapy in one of these mindsets isn’t wrong and is a great first step towards becoming ready for the work. Down the road, you may find yourself more motivated or self-aware and want to try again. Do it! We’re ready when you are and will meet you where you’re at, no matter your level of readiness. Fear of Judgement You might have done something you’re not proud of between sessions. Maybe you got into an argument with your partner or engaged in self-injurious behaviors. Maybe you’re afraid to bring up a taboo subject with your therapist because they might be offended or judge you. My job as a therapist is to make sure you feel welcome and safe, but even with those efforts, doubt might creep in. Allow me to provide reassurance - I’m not here to judge you. I’m here to support you. I hope you feel comfortable coming to me about anything, but tell me if you’re feeling uncertain, and we can work through it. Fear of Discomfort Therapy is not a comfortable process. Often, the things that brought you to therapy in the first place are painful, and frankly, healing is too. Sometimes we confuse discomfort and pain with being dangerous or harmful. However, discomfort does not equal danger. Sometimes our nervous system has a hard time telling the difference, and that discomfort can send us into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode. A big part of therapy is learning how to cope with that nervous system activation and teach your body and mind the difference between discomfort and danger. Financial Distress The economy is TOUGH, and money is TIGHT, which often means that people drop therapy in order to afford other, more pressing bills. What if you are in a crisis? If the economy is trash, your life is likely on fire, and your mental health is suffering. Let’s be real, we’re all going through it. If you are not able to afford therapy, REACH OUT. I may have ways to help with the cost, such as a sliding scale, payment plans, and resources for low-cost or free therapy services elsewhere. It’s not ideal to have to change therapists, but getting you the help you need is my top priority, even if that is with someone else. Feeling “Too Bad” You wake up and are having a rough day. Therapy sounds like a chore and not a relief. You don’t want to just cry while your therapist watches. Hear me out… The days we WANT therapy the LEAST are the days we NEED therapy the MOST. I know that has been true for me, and I’ve heard it from clients, too. When we’re low on energy and motivation, our mask tends to drop, and we can see through to some of the issues we may be hiding from. There is valuable insight behind that feeling of resistance. People Pleasing When you’ve worked with a therapist for a long time or when you have just met a new therapist, you may be tempted to be the “model client.” You might feel bad about having a bad day, especially when you’ve been working with a therapist for a long time and have seen a lot of progress. Healing isn’t linear! Having a bad day, having trauma resurface, or having symptoms return does not mean you have lost all of your progress. Our journeys have hills and valleys, and as a therapist, I’m there for them all. You don’t have to impress your therapist. Rupture in Rapport Something happened, and you’re really mad at your therapist even though you generally really like them. Whatever the injury, you’d rather run for the hills than risk hurting your therapist’s feelings, but you’re still upset enough that you don’t want to go back for sessions. Maybe if I just avoid the problem, it’ll go away? Avoidance is a tempting coping skill, and one that usually shows up in all areas of our lives, not just therapy. However, avoidance only puts us in our own way and keeps us from progressing. Challenge the avoidance; you might be surprised by what happens. Running away from your feelings and to a new therapist may provide some temporary relief, and it can reinforce previously established patterns of avoidance. It may be worth the effort to try to address discomfort, work through the issue, practice using your voice, and work towards repair in a safe environment. Questionable Practitioners In some cases, moving on to a new therapist is unavoidable. Naturally, it is within your prerogative to leave a therapist who crossed your boundaries, did something legally or ethically questionable, or is just plain offensive. The field of psychology can attract people who are in it for the wrong reasons and use their position for personal gain. That kind of behavior should not be tolerated, and you have the option to report them. In this case, “ghosting” is actually self-advocating and necessary. Good job! Ethical and compassionate therapists will be here when you’re ready to try again. Ask friends, family members, coworkers, and other people in your community who they see or recommend. Word of mouth is an amazing way to find the therapists who are here for the right reasons and will prioritize your best interests. Outgrowing your Therapist Sometimes folks make progress with a therapist, but reach a plateau. You might need a new perspective, or a new therapeutic orientation to shake things up a bit. If you like your therapist enough, you might not know hot to tell them that it's just not a good fit anymore because you don't want to hurt their feelings, so you avoid it and ghost or gradually fade away. Your therapist may be sad to see you go, buy often we love these closing conversations and seeing you self-advocate. We can be great at helping to guide you to the next person on your healing journey. It all boils down to fear and discomfort. Don’t let temporary discomfort and fear keep you from pursuing the things that are going to help you and better your life long term. It’s so tempting to run and hide, but if that worked, you’d have already solved all of your problems. Sit with the discomfort. Push back against the urge to flee- recognize that as your learning edge and lean into it. See what happens. It might be something wonderful. Author: McKayla Kagie Robinson, MS, PLMFT McKayla is Therapist at Healing Reflections Therapy. Contact her here to setup an appointment https://www.hopehealreflect.com/mckayla-kagie-robinson-plmft.html |
AuthorSMegan Garza, MA, LMFT is a certified Specialist in Treating Trauma at a Supervisory level and is Licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist. She specializes in work with complex trauma, sexual abuse survivors, and relational therapy. Archives
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