3. Meditation: Happier
When I bring up meditation in sessions, I’m met with comments like, “I hate meditation, I get too distracted, and it’s impossible for my thoughts to be quiet.” The mainstream understanding of meditation is that it’s somehow supposed to teach you to be totally devoid of thoughts, but that is simply unrealistic and, in my opinion, not what meditation should be used for. Instead, meditation is a powerful way to process and feel emotions, relax and recenter ourselves when stressed and overwhelmed, and expand our capacity for skillful coping mechanisms. 

Happier, previously known as Ten Percent Happier, is an app that was recommended to me by another therapist. It is now a resource that I use regularly, personally and professionally, primarily because of the quality and variety of meditation practices and tools it provides. The app has free meditations available, but you may choose to purchase their yearly subscription, like I did, for full access. 

The meditations cover many different topics and guide you through many visualization and reflection options. They also do a good job of setting a pace that allows time for reflection and still calls your attention back to the practice in case your thoughts start to wander. Whether you are experienced or new to meditation, this app is one that my clients and I find helpful.
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Other:
Outside of apps, I recommend Self-Compassion Practices by Dr Kristin Neff. The meditations found on that webpage are geared towards compassion, loving-kindness, and grounding. Her website includes helpful exercises as well, which I suggest checking out.

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5. Couples: Paired
Lots of people struggle communicating with their partners, and that is normal, even in a healthy relationship. The Paired app is designed to facilitate conversations that you may not think to have. These conversations revolve around topics like sex, sharing responsibility, finances, quality time, communication, LGBTQ+, and more.

​Each conversation prompt or quiz starts with a bit of psychoeducation about relationship dynamics. The prompts and quizzes have thoughtful questions designed to make you think and reflect so that you share insightful information with your partner via the app. You can not see your partner's answers until you submit your own, which I feel helps with authenticity. After each of you has answered, you can continue to discuss in the app with messages and emoji reactions, or if you prefer, you can continue the conversations in person to build on your understanding of each other’s answers. 

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6. Movement: Bend
Movement is another therapeutic tool! Moving our bodies, in whatever capacity, can have great mental and physical health benefits. Gentle movement, like stretching, is more accessible for some than going on a run or going to the gym, and Bend is a great way to guide yourself through that. The app has stretches categorized by body areas to stretch and by various intentions for stretching. It has guided routines that are as short as four minutes up to thirty minutes. You select a routine based on whether you’re looking for a wake-up stretch, a bedtime stretch, a mid-workday stretch, or you want to stretch your sore lower back, and it presents you with several options varying in length. You can pick according to the amount of time you have or the kinds of stretches it shows in the sequence, if you have a preference. 

Each option has an explanation of its specific focus. Before you start the stretch series, it shows you all the stretches in the order that they will be presented and the length of time intended to hold those stretches. Both before you start or if you need a refresher in the middle of stretching, each movement has a detailed description of how to get into the position (including a video demonstration showing you what it looks like), tips to help you find your footing and prevent injuries, modifications to accommodate movement restrictions, and the areas that benefit from that stretch.
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I personally love the way that the app guides you through the movements and provides ample support for executing each stretch. You can adjust the time that you hold each stretch if it is too long or too short, and you can pause any time if you need a break to adjust, reread the directions, or sip some water. The app will, of course, send you reminders to stretch if you set it up to, and as with most apps, there are more features available if you pay for the subscription. The unpaid version only does a full guided routine with the timer once a day, but it does not restrict your access to stretches or their instructions if you want to use them with your own timer or at your own pace. 

​Conclusion:
While they are not a fix for our mental health, nor a replacement for trained professionals and community support, apps are a great way to reinforce the things you are working on in therapy. The apps I recommend here may not work for you, and that is okay; they are just options to experiment with. If you find that these are not your vibe, that is just more information to help you determine what you do or do not need in terms of support. It’s all about finding what works for you!

​Author: McKayla Kagie Robinson, MS, PLMFT
McKayla is Provisionally licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with Healing Reflections Therapy, currently accepting new clients for individual, couple, or family therapy.

In doing counseling with clients who have substance abuse concerns and disorders, I
often draw from the world of 12-Step recovery. One of the concepts that comes out of
the wisdom of AA is the idea of People, Places, and Things. In order for someone who
abuses substances or things like food or sex to change their behavior and maintain their
progress, it is usually necessary to change the people with whom they associate, the
places they frequent, and items with which they regularly come in contact. The world
that someone in that situation has created is often filled with other people who abuse
substances, places the person goes to use those substances, and items that are
components of their use pattern.

The comedian Bill Hicks once said that the only things a man needs in order to be come
someone who has an alcohol use disorder are, “the right bar, the right girl, and the right
friends.” I have always liked that quote because it acknowledges that anyone can
become someone who abuses something or other given a few circumstances. While I
appreciate the wisdom of the disease model of addiction and also see people who
abuse substances as having a likely chemical imbalance and a genetic predisposition to
addictive behavior, there is also a role that habit, modeling, and circumstances play in
substance abuse and life in general.

I have always felt that in the “nature versus nurture” debate, the answer is both. As
such, people who abuse substances tend to think in such a way as to maintain the
addiction and the circumstances that give rise to it. Changing people may be the
hardest of the three. It may mean cutting off contact with family or close friends
temporarily or indefinitely. Sometimes new ways of interacting with them can be
negotiated, but sometimes not. When I quit smoking cigarettes many years ago, having
a romantic partner who believed I could and should do and did not smoke herself was a
huge factor in the longevity of my ability to cease and desist from using tobacco. If
someone has a problem with methamphetamine and chooses to stay with their partner
who abuses meth also, one can imagine all of the temptation and other challenges that
will continue to bring into their life while they try to pretend that they are quitting in a
vacuum.

I have seen some of the places people should consider avoiding be the route to the
liquor store they normally go to, places that are trauma triggers that may make them
want to use to self-medicate, childhood homes, their drug dealer’s house and so forth.
Sometimes if avoiding those things is not suggested by a peer or professional, it does
not occur to the user. I have seen numerous people with alcohol problems believe they
can/should work in a bar and have encouraged them to consider other options. There
are countless rituals and routines around using that the person will benefit from
breaking or at least interrupting.

“Things,” can be paraphernalia, numbers in ones phone, the actual substance they use.
I have seen people hold onto a stash of tobacco, drugs, or alcohol because they say
they feel more comfortable still having it if they need it. While this may work as a form
of harm-reduction at first, it is likely not sustainable long-term. Initially keeping alcohol
around with hopes to one day drink in moderation also seems premature in my
experience. In short, every person who abuses substances or struggles with other
compulsive behavior has a list of people, places and things that they need to evaluate
and possibly partially or completely liquidate in order to best prevent relapses into old
behavior. These are always unique to each person.
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Once someone is far enough along the stages of change to take action, they are more
likely to take this recommendation or see that this work needs to be done without
guidance. Sponsorship within AA/NA, counseling, or just some serious conversations
with concerned loved ones can also wake a substance abuser up to a lot of their
patterns of behavior and once they have this solid information, it is up to them to
personalize it and choose to take it from there.

Avoidance can cause prolonged grief, traumatic reactions and the like and, as such,
therapists typically advise clients to face their fears, explore underlying emotional
responses and the like. By contrast, avoiding people, places, and things is an adaptive
tool for people to use in recovery because they have likely already identified the
underlying emotion, have no sound reason to be around their substance of choice given
the corresponding cravings that may ensue, and are or will become aware that trying to
master regularly being tempted just isn’t worth it.

Author: Chris Scarberry, LPC
Chris is Therapist and CO-founder of Healing Reflections Therapy and is available to see clients in recovery.