April is Sexual Assault awareness month. We are seemingly inundated with news about sexual violence in the headlines lately. So, let's talk about some resources that many people don't know about for seeking help with domestic or sexual violence. These resources are primarily for Missouri, but there are national resources available as well.

Victim Advocates
Did you you know that you can get an advocate to accompany you to to the hospital or make a police report? You can pre-arrange this with them to ensure you have the safest experience where they can even schedule the meeting with a detective and give you follow-up updates on your case. Places like the YWCA Metro St. Louis and Crime Victims Advocacy Center, and Children's Advocacy Center are great for this kind of work

Safe at Home Program
Sometimes after folks have been in an abusive relationship or have experienced an interpersonal violence episode, they struggle with feeling safe at home. Survivors may worry about their perpetrator having access to them, or stalking them. Did you know that that you can sign up for the Safe at Home Address confidentiality program to keep your address out of public record, to ensure your privacy where you live. You can sign-up here for free ​https://www.sos.mo.gov/business/safeathome

Offender research tools
Another tool people have in Missouri to help keep themselves safe is using Casenet to research individuals name to see if they have criminal or civil cases  of public record in the state. Sometimes knowing  someone's history can be a great tool for personal advocacy and protection, especially when dating.

Case update Tools
If you experienced a crime where your offender has been adjudicated and want to know the release date status of your offender, you can use MOVANS to get automatic updates on them. This is designed to help victims stay notified of their case and when their future safety may potentially be threatened. 

Crime Victims Compensation
Many people don't know this, but if you experienced certain types of crimes and filed a police report and are actively participating with the police in the investigation, you may be eligible for have any expenses incurred by you as a result of the crime, reimbursed to you. This may include medications, medical visits, therapy costs, funeral expenses, and lost wages. There are stipulations involved, but filing a claim is relatively simple, though the re-imbursement process may take some time. If you think you or a family member are eligible, you can seek info here ​https://dps.mo.gov/dir/programs/cvc/crime-victims-compensation.phpdps.mo.gov/dir/programs/cvc/crime-victims-compensation.php

Therapy Support
An extraordinarily valuable tool in the healing process from trauma is getting therapy. Our therapists at Healing Reflections Therapy: Diversity, Trauma, and Wellness Services are experts at understanding the complexity of trauma and treating the resulting wounds. We utilize evidence-based approaches to help clients address their acute traumas from recent events as well as addressing chronic concerns from traumas that occurred decades ago. Reach out to us today, and we can help you find the help you need ​https://www.hopehealreflect.com/contact-us.html . For those not local to St. Louis, you can use Rainn.org to lookup a sexual assault near you.

Group Therapy Support
Another valuable tool is group therapy. I often recommend individual therapy paired with group therapy as a part of the healing journey. It is a wonderful opportunity to share your story with other survivors and see that you are not alone. Places like Safe Connections and YWCA Metro St. Louis are known to offer this for free.  Survivors.org also offers a virtual support group.

Healing Your Body
As many people are now aware due to education on ACES and the popularity of Bessel van der Kolk's "The Body Keeps the Score," the body is often impacted by trauma and carries a health cumulative impact. Resources like trauma-informed yoga have come about to help this process. This month, Survivors.org is offering free virtual trauma informed yoga workshops as well as art therapy workshops.

Joining the survivor community can be a transformative experience. It can help reframe your relationship with your victimized self, help release you from the bonds of secrecy with your perpetrator, and empower you to find a community of others that understand and empathize with your experience. You don't have to go through this alone. It's never too late. 

For more resources and information, you can check out our trauma resources information page and our sexual trauma resources page.

Author: Megan Garza, MA, LMFT
Megan is a Co-owner of Healing Reflections Therapy and Sexual Trauma specialist. You can schedule an appointment with her today here.

More and more people are using AI to assist with their mental health needs, and new tools and platforms are being built to expand on this. Clients are using AI to keep them accountable, to locate therapists, to learn coping skills and emotion regulation skills, to track their sobriety, to create mood logs, and to help them recognize patterns in their behavior and symptoms. Some clients are using AI to  create healthy meal plans. Others are using it to identify red flags in dating conversations or to help them figure out signs if someone is into them.

But as AI gains familiarity, some folks are turning to AI for much more than resources; they are using it to fill gaps in their emotional intimacy needs. They are using AI as a pocket therapist, an in-home life coach, as a friend, and sometimes as a romantic or sexual companion.

How did we get to where AI filled such a void within us?
In 2023, the surgeon general declared loneliness an epidemic negatively impacting mental health.  Between political values dividing the dating scene, the disappearance of traditional third spaces like churches for meetups, and decreasing alcohol usage, the fuel and kindling that historically gave rise to so many relational fires, albeit disastrous ones, many folks today just don’t know where or how to authentically connect. Now add the economic crisis and rising costs of insurance, making mental healthcare difficult to access, and you have the perfect condition for relationship problems and isolation. 

Enter AI.

The AI Affair
AI chatbots are being used as tools for social connection, a friend, a helper, a nonjudgmental encourager, with some people stating their family members think they are directly talking to a human friend at-the-ready. Some are crossing the dimensions into developing intimate relationships with AI, where they substitute human companionship. As so many sci-fi movies have predicted, the future is here, and of course, humans being humans, people have also started using AI for sexting with chatbots. Arguably, a more ethical arm of the porn industry, due to not requiring the exploitation of vulnerable women and other individuals, but not without its own problems. AI porn is built by stealing the art and original imagery of real humans, some of whom may have consented, others may not have to their original use, reproduction, or misrepresentation.  For those in relationships, finding out your partner is in a sexual relationship with a chatbot without your knowledge or consent can lead to problems with trust, anger, resentment, betrayal trauma, breakups, and divorce. And those folks are already showing up in therapy rooms and divorce courts.

The AI Substitute Therapist
Over the past year, I’ve encountered more and more people using AI to assist in their therapy between sessions.  Indeed, I rarely go a day anymore without hearing clients talking about their collaborative use of AI to aid the therapeutic healing, most of which they find very effective.

The AI Couple Therapist
Some folks are turning to AI to determine whether or not they are in domestic violence relationships and how to communicate with their emotionally abusive partner. We have heard multiple women report putting their partner’s words into the chat and then using the chat’s response to send back to their partners in an effort to de-escalate or set clear boundaries.

The AI Family Therapist
Similarly, we have heard multiple family members report trying to resolve family conflicts through AI chat. One family member will hurt another family member, then turn to AI to write an apology letter for them. Sometimes, the AI-assisted apology letter is a considerably better attempt at repair than anything the other person has historically offered verbally. Sometimes, family recognizes the AI assist, sometimes they don’t and are seemingly content with the attempt at repair. 

But what happens when both people are using chat to write their responses? It comes down to a question of whether any true skills are being developed, or whether people are outsourcing their relationships and avoiding conflict, and how to learn conflict resolution skills. AI should be a tool, not a replacement; otherwise, we would be left with a modern-day dystopian Cyrano De Bergerac where two AI machines are transferring messages back and forth to one another, masquerading as their human puppets who show up with placid smiles after the conflict, ready to hug and make up. 

The AI Psychologist
Some are using AI to try to diagnose their mental health concerns. The problem, of course being that AI results are largely based on the information you give it, and frankly, it can be a bit of a brown-noser in trying to get your approval. More often than not, it tells you what you want to hear. It cannot tell you what you do not know or understand about yourself, which is especially problematic for folks who lack insight or are poor reporters. Nor can it observe your body language, tone, and micro-expressions that are key to understanding human behavior.

Recently, in 2025, an AI mental health software firm, Yara AI, closed after the developers determined that further development of their product was “too dangerous” for users in crisis and would cause more harm than good. It was preceded by similar closures from Woebot, Tessa, and Clarigent Health.

One AI company has already come under fire for contributing to psychosis and suicide. In one recent case, a 16-year-old who died by suicide was discouraged by AI from seeking help and was offered assistance in writing a suicide note. There have been reports from psych hospitals receiving an increase in AI-related psychosis.

Adding onto the problem, recently OpenAI came under fire after it was discovered that the shooter in a mass killing event in Tumbler Ridge Canada had been using their service and was detected for “furtherance of violent activities” and was kicked off the platform months prior, but the failure of the developers to report the issue to authorities has created a question of liability and whether or not the crisis could have been averted.

Multiple states have started to initiate legislation to rein in the expanse of AI in mental health spheres as recognition of the problems and limitations grows. 
Certainly, as a clinician, there has already been growing fear of jobs being encroached on by the tech and venture capitalist sector, but more important is the larger human risk. As therapists, we know that the research has been clear that the biggest indicator of successful outcomes in therapy are not about what tools are used, what certifications someone has, the type of modality or intervention applied that could be replicated by an algorithm, but by the therapeutic relationship itself. The healing art of dynamic human connection. The unquantifiable algorithmic element.

Much like the development of the printing press, the automobile, the assembly line, the computer, and the internet, AI is not going away, nor is the human demand for it. The question remains, how do we best use the tools to our benefit? And perhaps the larger question remains for both users and developers exists in the bioethics realm, similar to that of growing the Jurassic Park dinosaurs: Are we so focused on what we could do with AI to meet our intimacy needs, that we are forgetting to stop and ask ourselves if we should?

So, in conclusion, this is just your friendly neighborhood therapist reminding you o remember to stay connected to real people and use AI only a tool/resource, not a replacement for human connection.

This article was written by a human without the aid of AI.

Author: Megan Garza, MA, LMFT

Sources
https://www.ama-assn.org/public-health/population-health/loneliness-public-health-crisis-learn-how-screen-it

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/feb/21/tumbler-ridge-shooter-chatgpt-openai

https://stateline.org/2026/01/15/ai-therapy-chatbots-draw-new-oversight-as-suicides-raise-alarm/

https://www.npr.org/sections/shots-health-news/2025/09/19/nx-s1-5545749/ai-chatbots-safety-openai-meta-characterai-teens-suicide

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/amp/show/what-to-know-about-ai-psychosis-and-the-effect-of-ai-chatbots-on-mental-health

https://fortune.com/2025/11/28/yara-ai-therapy-app-founder-shut-down-startup-decided-too-dangerous-serious-mental-health-issues/

The Working Alliance (1994) Horvath & Greenberg. John Wiley & Sons: NY

​Jurassic Park (1993)

Help us congratulate Jordan Langley, our former intern and recent graduate from the National University MFT program. She is now employed at Healing Reflections Therapy: Diversity, Trauma and Wellness Services and is accepting news clients as she is pursuing her license as a Marriage and Family Therapist. Feel free to send folks her way! Private pay or Aetna insurance. She has afternoon and evening availability, both virtual and in-person in South City St. Louis.
​​

The level of social support is the number one predictor of outcomes after trauma. Having support from a loved one came be a critical step in the healing process. Many family members ache when they see their loved one's suffer and are desperate to help them find relief, and to find relief for themselves of the anxiety and distress the helpless creates.

Seeking mental health support from a family member has some pros and cons. In general, seeking out therapy can be helpful, however not everyone is ready to take that step for themself. This can become a point of distress as family members get desperate for change with ongoing worry. 

Here are some things that therapists want you to know when you reach out on their behalf.

1)Reaching out to therapists on behalf of someone else takes away their sense of agency/responsibility for their therapy process and can be a sign of patterns of enabling or codependence.
All too often  well meaning loved ones reach out on someone else's behalf for therapy, but more often than not those individuals have little motivation to participate in the process. When you make the call for them, it takes away their ownership of the issue. Well meaning family members can become enablers by allowing these individuals to not have to take the role of responsible adults. Women often complain that they get cast in the role of mother to their spouses, but they often enable the very problem they are frustrated with by continuing to make the calls for doctors visits and setting up the appointments for them.

2) Lack of motivation to reach out to a therapist is often predictive of one's motivation to participate in the treatment process.
Often therapists find that when someone else makes the arrangement for someone to attend therapy, the person making the call is more distressed and ready for change than the client is. As much as you want them to change, they may not be ready to. Part of the process of reaching otu to a therapist, filling out the intake forms, and coming to the first session is all part of someone's preparation for change. It involves accepting there is a problem, that you need help, and that you are willing to take steps to make change. When people are just "visiting" therapy and not ready to make change, they usually do not attend past the intake sessions, if they bother to show up for the intake at all. Prochaska & Diclemente (1983) developed the stages of change model that highlights the cycle and one's readiness to change, particularly as it applies to addiction, though this pattern is applicable to the overall therapy process.
​
3) Confidentiality is a barrier for us.
While you may want to advocate for them, your advocacy can only go so far when we are dealing with another adult who is their own guardian. Therapists are required to maintain confidentiality with their clients, so once they make contact, we cannot really communicate with you about them without a release. 

What about when your family member is too ill or depressed to advocate for themself or is a poor reporter/historian?

If someone is in a mental health crisis situation there a few options to consider. This situation is different than a situation where someone is enabling, but more occurs when the client is in such a poor state, they lack the capacity to take the steps for themself. For example, someone who is experiencing psychosis and cannot distinguish reality from a delusion, someone that is so depressed they are near catatonic and bed ridden, someone whose OCD has lead to a hazardous hoarding situation, or someone who is experiencing a manic episode and is engaging in high risk behavior, or someone who has been abusing substances or has been having a reaction to medication and they are seemingly not themself. In each of these scenarios, these folks likely need immediate help. Going to an ER or the nearest psychiatric facility may be the best option to immediately manage the crisis. If a person already has a psychiatrist or therapist, reaching out to them to let the know what is going on can be a tremendous help.

Generally, you can send mental health professionals information, but we cannot acknowledge it or send anything back to you without a consent to release information from the client. Exceptions to this rule may apply if there is an imminent threat to the life of the client or someone else.

As much as I encourage clients to take responsibility for their mental health and challenge when folks are enabling, there have been many times over the years that I have encouraged family members to write letters to their loved one's doctor or to call the office and leave a message to inform them if a crisis has developed or if there are significant pieces of information about symptoms necessary for the clinician to make an adequate diagnosis and appropriate treatment plan, and for their doctor to be able to prescribe the appropriate medications. These methods, when necessary can be absolute game changers in the trajectory of a client's mental health outcomes. 

When we have a release and family therapy or coordination of care is part of the treatment
As family therapists, especially when working with children it is very difficult to make changes with the child if the rest of the family is not on board and participating in the treatment. Some of the best results I have ever seen as trauma therapist have come immediately after sessions using Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) when parents are brought into the session to help process/witness the trauma of their child. Secrets are eliminated and parents are coached on how to be effective supporters in the present. The shame the child was experiencing dissipates and healing takes place in the family system.

Although interventions with loved one's have long been used in substance abuse recovery, there are mixed reviews of the efficacy of these attempts.


What about if it's a Britney situation and we think we need to become guardians or conservators in order to help our family member?

Sometimes a person is not well enough to take care of themself. They refuse treatment. They struggle with having the capacity to recognize the risk to themselves. In some cases, a person can apply for a conservatorship or guardianship with the courts. The court determines if this is appropriate.

Sometimes, when a family member is severely chronically ill and it no longer feels like there is another way to get them help to save their life, this step can be helpful.

However, it can also come with a large price. Family members have the burden of assuming medical and financial responsibility for their impaired family member, which is often a thankless, tiring, and exhausting job. The task and the subsequent blowback of resentment and fight for control from the client can result in major conflicts, and sometimes complete dissolution in the relationship between family members. As they say, no good deed goes unpunished. As we all saw with what happened with Britney Spears and her family over the conservatorship and when it was lifted, the process and outcome were complicated in their impact.

So, should you help a family member? Absolutely! But before you take those next steps, carefully consider your role, expectations of them, ask yourself whether it is possible they can do this for themself and how your involvement may help or hurt. Consider the impact that your helping may have on your own mental health.

Remember local resources like the 988 mental health crisis line as well as NAMI, AA, Al-Anon,  SAMHSA, and Psychology Today  are all excellent ways to help for yourself or to send the information to a loved one to encourage them to take steps for their own mental well being. If you think that maybe you are struggling with codependence with a family member, you can look into a CODA group for yourself.

Author
~Megan Garza, MA, LMFT

We hope to see you all join us for a day of therapeutic and relaxation related activities at this year's Tower Grove Pride Festival in St. Louis City. The festival is all weekend, but we are just there on Sunday. Whether you want therapy dog cuddles, need a quiet moment to color, want to learn some new guided relaxation skills, or want to make some fun stress balls or make a packet of coping skills, we are here to help! Sign-up today. Free events all day!

Therapy has become increasingly accepted as a norm for health treatment, especially since covid. As historical barriers of stigma and shame fall away, more and more people are embracing hope and change and looking for therapists to help them facilitate healing, but sometimes struggle with where to start.

One option for finding a good therapist or mental health treatment center is to ask your family, friends, or colleagues for recommendations. High praise from someone you know can go a long way in building trust with your provider.

Another option is to check with your insurance company. If you check the back of your insurance card, there is usually a number you can call and they can help with referrals for providers in your network. Better yet, go to the insurance companies Doc Find on their website, which usually allows you to add in filters for your selection and find providers nearest you.

A third recommended option is using Psychology Today's search field at www.psychologytoday.com
Many reputable clinicians use this for their marketing. You can read about each clinician in detail, view their fees, insurances taken, and specialty areas, and even watch video snapshots of them.

Of course Google can also locate someone near you, but that may be driven more by sponsoring ads than who is the best fitting provider near you.

Alternatively, crisis lines like BHR can also help link you to social service organizations, psychiatrists, and mental health facilities.

You don't have to go through this alone. Many people are available to help. 
A word to the wise, be patient, sometimes places may have long wait lists or be slow to return calls, if at all. It may be beneficial to reach out to multiple providers initially and see who is most responsive to your needs.

How to know if the therapist is a good fit?

An important quality is competence, does the therapist have specialized training or certifications in the area, symptom, or diagnosis that you need help with? How long have they been working in that area to develop a solid set of skills for complicated needs? 

Do they do in-person, virtual, or a combination of both that may make them more accessible or easier for you connect with or be vulnerable.

Does the therapist specialize in Christian counseling or are they general, non-religiously focused? Choosing a therapist that works within a framework you are comfortable with can be helpful.

If you are a member of a marginalized population, does the therapist understand those complexities or needs so that you feel safe? A therapist doesn't have to be a member of that population to be helpful, but they do need to have culturally competency or willingness to approach with openness and non-judgement.

Are you wanting only wanting validation or change? Therapy can feel really good if you are supported and the therapy gives lots of validation, but that doesn't always result in change. One major difference between a friend and a therapist is a therapist is specifically there to help you work on your goals to change, which may mean they tell you things that can be hard to hear and encourage you to do things you are uncomfortable with, for the sake of your recovery. If the therapist only validates you, it may feel good, but might not always result in the change you are seeking.

And lastly, what is the general vibe of the therapist? How do you feel about their demographics and personality?  Look over their website, their psychology today profiles and videos, do they seem like someone you could jive with?

Tempering your Expectations
Sometimes we hear about folks that therapist hop, looking for the "perfect fit," much like dating, it's not likely you will find the "perfect therapist". They are humans and can make mistakes, but are they open to learning and making change to meet your needs, or are you willing to accept that maybe they are telling you something you need to hear instead of what you want to hear? Therapists also encourage the client to do the hard work, not them. So if you are expecting them to do all the work, you may feel frustrated with long silences and delayed in progress. The more you modulate your expectations, the happier you may be about the result.

Sometimes when folks are not ready for therapy, they easily find barriers. It is a good idea to think about whether you are screening out providers who would otherwise be a fit for this reason.  When people strongly desire change and are ready to do the work, they may not overemphasize what certifications the therapist has, or how far away they are, or what times they offer, or what the cost is.  They will be willing to do anything to access the service they need at the moment and are also willing to do the hard work in the process.

Conversely, if a therapist makes you feel unsafe or judged, it makes sense to listen to your gut and move on.

Hopefully this helps and you can find your way to a clinician that helps you meet your needs. Goof luck, and good health!

Authors, Megan Garza, MA, LMFT & Chris Scarberry, MA, LPC