As many sexual trauma survivors are feeling re-victimized by the political climate, the justice department suddenly made changes the definitions of sexual assault, significantly narrowing it, limiting the ability for victims to receive justice, and reducing the safety of our community.  Read more here in a statement from the National Partnership to End Interpersonal Violence.
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https://www.npeiv.org/official-statements/rapid-response-to-the-redefining-of-sexual-assault

It has been almost a month since #MeToo flooded social media. Since then, almost a daily parade of new sexual harassment, abuse, or assault allegations are being brought to light about accused perpetrators like Harvey Weinstein, James Toback, Charlie Sheen, Louis C.K., Ed Westwick, Roy Moore, and Kevin Spacey. The responses by the accused have varied from silence, to deflection, to admission, to outright denial.

Some statements have puzzled people, wondering how could they not know what they were doing was wrong or would upset someone else? Sadly, this relates to a concept frequently found in my therapy practice, in which many victims are astounded when they realize that their rapist doesn't know he is a rapist. After the assault the perpetrator may act casual, inviting them for breakfast, acting affectionate, kiss them, or invite them on another date. They behave as though what had occurred was completely consensual despite the fact that moments or hours before they were holding the victim down, whispering threats in the victim's ear, ignoring the victim's cries of pain or profound lack of interest or engagement, or ignored the fact the victim was intoxicated, passed out, or vomiting and while they pursued sex.
 
Sometimes the victim will run into the perpetrator months or years later and be astounded at how "normal" they act. They may approach them like friendly, long lost friends seeking to engage in polite conversation. They may reach out to the victim over social media with casual "hellos" and "how have you beens?" The victims may react in paralysis, fear, or rage and are additionally astounded when they see the look of confusion reflected in their perpetrator's face.

The victim/survivor comes into my office begging the question: Is it possible that my rapist does not know he raped me? Sadly, in some instances, the answer may be yes. For those that lack empathy, awareness of others boundaries or feelings may not exist. The default is: if this benefits me, my actions are ok. Lack of empathy can be the bi-product of someone in a status of power or privilege, "Just boys being boys," "locker room talk," or "old school." For other sexual violence perpetrators, they may have a sense, if not clearly know what they did was wrong, but use elements of denial, minimization, deflecting blame, or manipulation to escape any form of personal accountability to seep into their conscious awareness.

Is it possible that some of these celebrities really did not know that what they were doing was wrong? Well, since they kept the secret and did not exhibit those behaviors in public, then probably on some level they did know. I would argue that they probably were in a position that did not serve them well to think it was wrong.  "He/she really wants this," "They deserve this," "I deserve this," "They like how it feels," "Everybody does it" are all arguments used to justify sexual violence. Think of it this way: if you were about to step on an ant and crush it, you would probably tell yourself that have good reason to do so, that it won't matter, that they cannot feel anything, that you are really being helpful...but you can do this because essentially you see the ant as significantly less powerful and less important than yourself. At least if you think about killing a shark you may still justify the kill, but you will still probably worry about the consequences to yourself because the shark is inherently more powerful. Power, control, status, privilege, and lack of empathy play important roles in supporting rape culture. When way are so inundated in rape culture, like a lobster in pot slowly brought to a boil, we may not even realize we are in danger of becoming the next meal because the environment around us was already so unhealthy in the first place.
Megan Garza, MA, LMFT  2011011850 MO
Sexual Trauma Therapist ​

A common misconception is that rapes must happen by force. People often visualize a bloody, battered victim who yelled and tried to fight back against a stranger who pulled them into the bushes. This is a very  unlikely scenario for a variety of reasons, one being that 75-85% of sexual assaults are perpetrated by someone the victim knows, not a stranger. Often, the perpetrator is a friend or a loved one, possibly even a spouse or partner. Definitions of Sexual assault/abuse/rape all can include "lack of consent". When someone is drugged, unconscious, asleep, under the influence of drugs or alcohol, disabled and unable to understand the situation, or too young, or in a situation where they are compromised and unable to make a reasonable decision, they lack they ability to consent to sex. No resistance is necessary. Federal rape law is: "Penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim."
State laws vary.

Unfortunately, many people who are sexually abused are "frozen" with fear or dissociated at the time of their assault and are unable to fight, yell, or struggle. This sadly leads them to inappropriately blame themselves or for others to blame them for the abuse instead of the one truly at fault, the perpetrator.

Thanks to social media, the public finally gets a glimpse of what sexual trauma looks like. A survivor of campus sexual assault, who  was found unconscious behind a dumpster with her dress pushed up over her shoulder and her underwear  and bra removed , while her attacker fled and was pinned by two good summaritans who had caught him in the act has now spoken about her experience in a very  moving impact statement. There are so many tragedies in the situation, one being that had it not been for the witnesses this case would likely never have gone to trial, and a brutal rapist would have gone free to harm others.  She  or he would be blamed  for drinking too much. Their sexual behavior would be called into question and just as in her case, it would be reframed as a consensual act. That she was never notified of what was happening in her case or what even happened to her while she was unconscious and had to learn about it online truly breaks my heart.   The fact that the man was only given 6 months prison time may seem awful, but most victims will never see justice. The perpetrators often go unpunished, the crimes  left univestigated, or unprosecuted, or the sentences are merely probation.  The fact that the perpetrators father defends his  violence as "20 minutes of action"  that should be ameliorated with him giving lectures on the dangers of alcohol and promiscuity ( as if alcohol made people into savage rapers of the unconscious) only adds insult to injury and perfectly encapsulates  the blinding of rape culture. This case is no anomally. It just highlighted the true brokenness of our society and its justice system. 

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/jun/06/stanford-sexual-assault-case-victim-impact-statement-in-full?CMP=fb_gu

If you have watched the news, followed twitter or facebook in the past month you may have noticed a couple important discussions of drug facilitated sexual assault AKA: date rape drugging

Musical artist Cee Lo Green recently plead No Contest to spiking a woman's drink with ecstasy, she later woke up naked next to him with missing memories. Subsequent to his plea, he to took to twitter to make some damning statements about his lack of understanding about consent that resulted in a swift public backlash.

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/music/posts/la-et-ms-cee-lo-green-ecstasy-no-contest-rape-twitter-20140902-story.html


In addition, a debate was recently sparked about college students working to develop nail polish that would detect the presence of date rape drugs by using your finger to stir your drink.  The debate is over whether it is appropriate to put the onus on women to prevent sexual assault, which could risk a greater victim blaming culture (why didn't she use the nail polish to test her drink?) rather than putting the blame on perpetrators.

http://www.newsweek.com/controversy-over-nail-varnish-date-rape-drug-detector-267126

How do you get rapists to admit to rape? Basically, don't use the word rape.  Some interesting studies have been published with this data. Similarly, if you want to find out how many people have been sexually assaulted, you don't use the word either rape either.  Often, labels scare people from admitting to their conscious self what really happened. Check out this link for info on these study results.  http://www.upworthy.com/whoa-4-questions-that-got-120-rapists-to-admit-they-were-rapists-5?g=2&c=ufb1