3. Meditation: Happier
When I bring up meditation in sessions, I’m met with comments like, “I hate meditation, I get too distracted, and it’s impossible for my thoughts to be quiet.” The mainstream understanding of meditation is that it’s somehow supposed to teach you to be totally devoid of thoughts, but that is simply unrealistic and, in my opinion, not what meditation should be used for. Instead, meditation is a powerful way to process and feel emotions, relax and recenter ourselves when stressed and overwhelmed, and expand our capacity for skillful coping mechanisms. 

Happier, previously known as Ten Percent Happier, is an app that was recommended to me by another therapist. It is now a resource that I use regularly, personally and professionally, primarily because of the quality and variety of meditation practices and tools it provides. The app has free meditations available, but you may choose to purchase their yearly subscription, like I did, for full access. 

The meditations cover many different topics and guide you through many visualization and reflection options. They also do a good job of setting a pace that allows time for reflection and still calls your attention back to the practice in case your thoughts start to wander. Whether you are experienced or new to meditation, this app is one that my clients and I find helpful.
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Other:
Outside of apps, I recommend Self-Compassion Practices by Dr Kristin Neff. The meditations found on that webpage are geared towards compassion, loving-kindness, and grounding. Her website includes helpful exercises as well, which I suggest checking out.

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5. Couples: Paired
Lots of people struggle communicating with their partners, and that is normal, even in a healthy relationship. The Paired app is designed to facilitate conversations that you may not think to have. These conversations revolve around topics like sex, sharing responsibility, finances, quality time, communication, LGBTQ+, and more.

​Each conversation prompt or quiz starts with a bit of psychoeducation about relationship dynamics. The prompts and quizzes have thoughtful questions designed to make you think and reflect so that you share insightful information with your partner via the app. You can not see your partner's answers until you submit your own, which I feel helps with authenticity. After each of you has answered, you can continue to discuss in the app with messages and emoji reactions, or if you prefer, you can continue the conversations in person to build on your understanding of each other’s answers. 

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6. Movement: Bend
Movement is another therapeutic tool! Moving our bodies, in whatever capacity, can have great mental and physical health benefits. Gentle movement, like stretching, is more accessible for some than going on a run or going to the gym, and Bend is a great way to guide yourself through that. The app has stretches categorized by body areas to stretch and by various intentions for stretching. It has guided routines that are as short as four minutes up to thirty minutes. You select a routine based on whether you’re looking for a wake-up stretch, a bedtime stretch, a mid-workday stretch, or you want to stretch your sore lower back, and it presents you with several options varying in length. You can pick according to the amount of time you have or the kinds of stretches it shows in the sequence, if you have a preference. 

Each option has an explanation of its specific focus. Before you start the stretch series, it shows you all the stretches in the order that they will be presented and the length of time intended to hold those stretches. Both before you start or if you need a refresher in the middle of stretching, each movement has a detailed description of how to get into the position (including a video demonstration showing you what it looks like), tips to help you find your footing and prevent injuries, modifications to accommodate movement restrictions, and the areas that benefit from that stretch.
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I personally love the way that the app guides you through the movements and provides ample support for executing each stretch. You can adjust the time that you hold each stretch if it is too long or too short, and you can pause any time if you need a break to adjust, reread the directions, or sip some water. The app will, of course, send you reminders to stretch if you set it up to, and as with most apps, there are more features available if you pay for the subscription. The unpaid version only does a full guided routine with the timer once a day, but it does not restrict your access to stretches or their instructions if you want to use them with your own timer or at your own pace. 

​Conclusion:
While they are not a fix for our mental health, nor a replacement for trained professionals and community support, apps are a great way to reinforce the things you are working on in therapy. The apps I recommend here may not work for you, and that is okay; they are just options to experiment with. If you find that these are not your vibe, that is just more information to help you determine what you do or do not need in terms of support. It’s all about finding what works for you!

​Author: McKayla Kagie Robinson, MS, PLMFT
McKayla is Provisionally licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with Healing Reflections Therapy, currently accepting new clients for individual, couple, or family therapy.

The word is out. Winter is in!
The fresh white snow. 
The cozy evenings snuggled inside in the warmth. 
Fire crackling in the fireplace. 
Mug of hot cocoa in hand. 
 
It all sounds great, doesn’t it?
Well for 10-20% of adults in the US, this is not the coziest season of year. But rather, the season of the winter blues or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).
But what causes this?
1. Less sunlight
• It is not just the physical lack of sun on your skin, but a shift in biological clock that occurs when there is less sunlight. This internal clock is responsible for regulating mood, sleep, and hormones.
2. Brain chemical imbalance
• Because sunlight helps regulate serotonin (which contributes to feelings of happiness), a lack of sunlight in the winter can exacerbate feelings of sadness.
3. Melatonin boost
• Melatonin is a chemical that affects your sleep patterns and mood. With the lack of sunshine, an overstimulation of melatonin can occur. Symptoms of this include feeling sluggish and sleepy. 
Ok, the cold dark days are causing my sadness. What can I possibly do about that?
Well. While you can’t control the season or weather, here is what you can do…
1. Start or resume therapy. Our therapists at Healing Reflections Therapy are available to help in-person or virtually. 
2. Spend time with people who bring you glimmers of joy
3. Spend time outside in the limited window the sun is shining
4. Adding light to your space that mimics the sun’s light
5. Discover a new indoor hobby or rediscover one that you have not done in a while. Need ideas? Maybe baking a new recipe, painting, journaling, make a soup, reading a new book, do a home yoga or meditation video.

Reference
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9293-seasonal-depression

Author: Anne Marie Mathews, MS, SMFT
I am currently accepting therapy clients. Feel free to reach out if you need help.

For many folks across the US, the globe, and in marginalized communities this was a hard day.  At Healing Reflections Therapy, we see you. Your pain is valid. Sadness, anger, betrayal, shock, and frustration are all very real and may feel all the more acute when others are celebrating or otherwise blind or uncaring about what you are experiencing. You are allowed to grieve as you need to grieve. 

Grief
Grief occurs in separate and sometimes simultaneous cycles.  It may look like shock, numbness or shutting down.  It may look like anger and wanting to rage at those you believe hurt you and to cut ties with family and friends, it may look like sadness and wanting to cry or stay in bed and eat or drink your feelings.  It may look like bargaining and wanting to rationalize how you can make sense of it, thinking “if I just do x, maybe it won’t impact me”, it may look like denial and telling yourself it’s not over yet, maybe something may change it, or telling yourself or others to get over it.  

Next Steps
Focus on the now. Your brain may be spinning with sooo many possibilities: future fears of changes, loss of rights, concern for your safety and the safety of your loved ones, fears for the choices by lawmakers and the fate of democracy. Instead of focusing on external events that are much bigger than you and beyond your control, focus on what you can do for right now. Think about what you are able to control.
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The serenity prayer reminds us to ask, "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference." This notion of radical acceptance is hard, but can help move you out of helplessness and hopelessness.

 Self-Care
Today is a good day for self-care. What does that mean? It means connect with your support communities, your trusted friends, family members, colleagues, and mental health workers- schedule a meeting, date, appointment, a get together. You could create a group text or join a social media group with like-minded individuals.

Please take some time for yourself. That may mean taking a day or two off of work. Give yourself grace for having to pick yourself off the floor or peel yourself out of bed after maybe having a night or two of less than ideal coping choices.  It happens. Try not to linger there too long. Focus on adaptive coping. Make choices for self-care that will make you feel proud of yourself later and allow you to feel better instead of worse. If you are someone who is in recovery, try to use positive coping skills rather than allow the current political climate to take your sobriety.
Find something that creates meaning in your life. 

Allow yourself to cry and feel your emotional response at times.  You need to get it out.  No one can hold in this much pain and live with it alone.  Rely on chosen family, friends, and community.  

Distraction
You might need to get out of your head for a little while and away from the media frenzy. Try unplugging and refocusing on other areas of your life, if you can, which we realize may be a privilege. Watch a favorite movie. Watch some stand-up comedians on netflix, watch funny pet videos on tiktok, put in your favorite movie- yes, you can go ahead and watch Twilight for the 100th time, throw yourself into some true crime, re-read your favorite YA book, spend time in nature, go thrift store shopping, go to a museum, create some art or play music.


Self-soothing
Self-soothing may look like connecting with your body and 5 senses to bring you peace. It may mean snuggling your fur babies and enjoying the texture of their soft fur, or hearing the relaxing sound of their purr or breathing, it may mean taking a hot bath or cold shower, it may mean making yourself some hot cocoa, putting on your favorite smelling lotion or cooking something that transports you to a childhood memory, cleaning your closet, walking around barefoot in the grass, buying yourself some fresh flowers to smell and look at, making a playlist of songs that bring your inspiration or peace or help channel your rage, enjoying some pumpkin spice whatever fall stuff has to offer, or maybe you put up your Christmas decorations early to surround yourself with things that bring you joy and calm your nervous system.  

Safety Planning
Are you a member of a marginalized group like LGBTQIA+ people or immigrants that is being targeted? Although some may try to minimize your concerns, you know what your experience has been and what you have endured, your fears are valid.  Does making a plan for safety give you a sense of control? For some folks, there may be talks with your loves ones about where in or outside the US you feel most safe and protected. Yes, I know lots of folks talk about leaving the country around elections, which just is not a real feasible for most. So there may be more practical solutions to consider. Are there legal documents that you need to arrange to protect the status of your relationship and/or your loved one? DO you want to work on getting your name change or gender-affirming surgery while that is still definitely possible?  Do you have a list of community spaces where you feel safe and people who you can trust? Don't allow people who do not see your pain or the situation accurately to deter you from doing what you need to do to be as safe and comfortable as possible.

Re-focusing your energy on Advocacy
For some people the best way to deal with this immense sense of lack of control is to look for ways to feel in control. This may look like volunteering for a cause or group that is important to you. It may mean joining your local political group and focusing on the next local election.  It may mean spending time supporting local marginalized communities. 

Hope
It is never wrong to hope. Do not be ashamed or mad at yourself for allowing yourself to hope. Sometimes that is all we have. If you are familiar with the Greek myth of "Pandora’s Box," then you know that when Pandora, the first woman on earth, was given a gift by Zeus, she was told not to open it. When Pandora gave in to her curiosity and opened the box, it was said she unleashed all the evils, sickness, disease, evil and horrors unto the world, but at the bottom of the box was HOPE.  

I often think about Red’s line in Shawshank Redemption “Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things.”

As crisis counselors we know that people die when they lose hope.
For those in power, we know that hope can be a threat to their power. In Hunger Games President Snow tried to stamp out hope in the districts, because he recognized hope could be dangerous.
From research on Learned helplessness, we know that it happens when we lose hope, people & animals give up opportunities for freedom from terrible situations even when presented to them...I won't tell you the story about the experiment because it will depress you even more (you can google Seligman's story if you really need to know more). 
Never be ashamed of having hope and choosing to believe in a better tomorrow. History repeatedly has shown us that the worst periods, the worst wars, the worst regimes do not endure, the human spirit does.

Remember, this is a marathon relay, not a sprint. You are not alone. He won't be the thing that breaks you.  Getting to the other side of this likely will mean a lot of pain and discomfort along the way. You may not look the same or feel the same when you come out of it. You may learn hard lessons along the way. You may be a different person on the other side of it all. The losses you suffer may not be fair or just. At times you may fall back and need someone else to tap in while you step back and allow yourself to rest for a while. Don't be afraid to ask for what you need and pause when you have to.  You have been though hard things before. You can do hard things. Throughout the world and history people have gone through enormous suffering, but humanity has endured...and generally moved toward progress. Have faith. Have hope. Have Courage. Have Endurance. Be Persistent. Have Heart. We are here to pass you back the baton when you are ready.

If you are needing help finding a good therapist, we are here for you . Or you can check out this article on how to Find a good Therapist https://www.hopehealreflect.com/mental-health-articles/how-to-find-a-good-therapist​

Authors: The Healing Reflections Therapy Team

​In doing my clinical work, I spend much time supporting and processing the reactions of vulnerable clients from marginalized populations to the current and recent political climate in the United States which has included the Supreme Court ruling that took away federal abortion protections.  For myself and among clients I see, many of whom are not female assigned or identified, a fear nonetheless set in that many of the freedoms, values, and protections that came about as the result of tireless fighting and advocacy for workers, women, people of color, and LGBTQIA+ people, and others could/will be on the chopping block. 
 
Doing the clinical work that I do, I especially found many of my transgender and/or Queer clients fearing for the state of their marriages, their employment, their right to a safe abortion and also for their physical safety in ways that they had not since before the Obama administration.  In many cases, this very real fear has led to an exacerbation of mental health symptoms already present or created symptoms of a severity and duration necessary to warrant an Adjustment Disorder Diagnosis or a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder.  To look at how some of the composite reactions I've seen have led to symptom creation and exacerbation, let's take a look at the criteria for Major Depressive Disorder as it relates to the experiences of clients and others as reported and observed and discuss how we as clinicians in this practice approach supporting clients with these symptoms and societal concerns.
 
The symptoms that are potentially part of a depressive episode include: depressed mood, loss of interest/pleasure, weight gain or loss, thoughts of death or suicide, feelings of worthlessness/guilt, fatigue, insomnia/hypersomnia, decreased concentration.  These symptoms need to exist in an episode which lasts 2 weeks or more.  I have seen symptoms such as these arise for the first time or be exacerbated by the current circumstances.  In my clinical work, most notably, I have seen these symptoms arise in clients pertaining to both the recent Supreme Court ruling coupled with comments made by a justice that he might be inclined to vote to overturn the past Marriage Equality ruling that federally legalized marriage for Queer-Identified Individuals.  These federal events coupled with Missouri taking steps to orchestrate one of the most rigid statewide abortion bans in the country, led many of my clients to contemplate leaving the state or residing in a more progressive country.
 
In terms of how I’ve seen symptom creation, depressed mood was most frequently caused by negative and invalidating reactions to the local political situation by clients’ loved ones.  The disillusionment caused by this disconnect often leaves Queer and Trans people wondering how their family and purported friends can support politicians, institutions, and businesses that have agendas and take measures that treat marginalized people in invalidating, harmful, personal safety-jeopardizing ways.  Loss of interest/pleasure in activities often relates to limits in the ability to comfortably engage in hobbies.  Clients often have feelings of worthlessness related to feeling as though their safety and value as a person are being undermined when things like so called “bathroom bills” are being voted upon to not allow transgender people to use the bathroom that corresponds with their identified gender or when Queer and Trans client see reproductive rights for women being rolled back and understandably worry that their much more recent/tenuous rights will be next on the chopping block.  All of these concerns can and have disturbed my clients’ sleep, appetite, and made them feel drained and exhausted.  As such, some, in addition to considering relocation are considering trying psych meds for the first time.  We have been processing the resulting elevated symptomology with our clients and, when needed, referring them for additional services like psychiatric care, support groups such as those at MTUG, 12-Step meetings at place such as the Alano Club, and normalizing our client’s fears and concerns related to the ways in which they are understandably symptomatic/experiencing elevated levels of symptoms due to the fear of losing the already unacceptable level of rights and benefits that were fought for during Stonewall and for decades since, and generally assisting in the formulation of “created family” for our clients who are often being harmed by their biological families and systems of power.
 
If you are someone who is hurting or feeling isolated or in-danger as a result of the current political environment, please know that you are not alone and that others are also struggling markedly with their mental health.  Please know also that even though it can be especially scary for people who have been let down and marginalized by people who should have helped and cared about them, there are service providers some of whom are in the community who are open, affirming, and are advocating both in the field and in their personal lives for LGBTQIA+ people, their marriages, their personal safety, their need for safe spaces including bathrooms, and the need for greater awareness of the needs of this community for the competence of service providers.  While many of us feel that these are dark, scary political times and will be for some time, we at Healing Reflections Therapy are dedicated to affirming and defending the rights of the Queer and Trans communities as well as cisgender women and communities of color. 

​~Chris Scarberry, LPC