Here at Healing Reflections Therapy, as we continue to celebrate Pride Month and reflect on the current political climate in our state, nation, and world, we continue to be certain that services from specialized clinicians provided to LGBTQ+ clients continue to be just as if not more necessary and relevant than they were in the past.  The statement, “Pride was a riot,” is meant to highlight the fact that the community resistance at the Stonewall Tavern that gave rise to the first Pride events and parades was initiated and encouraged by a brick rumored to have been thrown by a trans woman and by the specific trans women: Stormé DeLarverie, Marsha Johnson, and Sylvia Rivera.  The significance of this being two fold, that, although many may assume that only gay men were involved in the events of Stonewall, the entire community was both targeted for oppression in public spaces and showed out to face down police brutality and aggression and also that Pride is not only about celebrating, dressing up, consuming alcohol, but also has a deep historical significance. 
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Pride was a riot because at the time, members of the LGBTQ+ community did not have body autonomy or control over their own treatment and healthcare.  Queer and trans identities were marginalized to such an extent that no one could be out and get proper checkups, STD testing, gender-affirming medical care  At the beginning of the AIDS crisis, people were forced to take poisonous meds and obtain them through creative and non medically-sanctioned means.  As we know, although strides have been made such as one pill/day HIV meds and hormone replacement therapy (HRT)being readily available on an informed consent basis, there are now constant attacks on Ryan White HIV federal funding and gender affirming care for both minors and adults with state coverage or VA benefits.  There have been multiple attempts to ban trans soldiers from serving in the military and take their retirements.

Pride was a riot because gatherings of LGBTQ+ folx were criminalized and romantic relationships were not broadly seen as legitimate.  Stonewall happened in part because it was illegal for gay and trans people to be drinking at a bar together as well as it being illegal for any sexual activity to happen between anyone and the police response mirrored those prohibitions.  How do you connect if you cannot build community?  How do you feel safe when there is nowhere at home or in public that you can be yourself and not be arrested.  Obergefell Hodges went through in 2015, so gay marriage has only been legal for 11 years.  As with all other LGBTQ+ rights, there have already been multiple attempts to take Obergefell to the Supreme Court and have it overturned.  This in addition to dozens of anti-LGBTQ+ bills being debated and sometimes passed into law in many states in their country in the past 2 years.  Murders of Trans people continue to be so prolific that they are actively tracked and memorialized on Trans Day of Remembrance.  

Pride was a riot because the Queer and Trans community was being treated as less than human.  One need look no further than the plethora of bathroom bills meant to strip Trans people of the dignity to use public facilities and anecdotal examples of strangers policing the genders of others in the restroom with them and making demands to see that it is not safe to be Trans and use the bathroom or even to be someone that anyone things looks different than their assigned sex and corresponding gender role.  Policies criminalizing gender affirming care for minors in some states have caused youth and their parents to lose care, have to move to other states, have side effects and poor outcomes from going off of needed medications.  Trans adults we see worry that they will need to stockpile their hormones in order to continue to be on HRT once all gender affirming care could conceivable be banned.

In some ways, now more than ever, being Queer or Trans means having a target on your back and being unsafe in public, private, even in previously thought of safe spaces.  It is almost worse that some headway had been made, rights were conferred and and are now under attack in a manner worse than ever before.  As LGBT!+ affirming therapists, we know not just the terminology, relationship structures, and social norms that exist in our clents’ lives, we also realize that they currently fear for their lives, relationships, healthcare and employment.  That is why it is more important than ever to stand in solidarity with them and provide one of the only safe holding environments they may currently have in our office and virtually.  We see you, we value you, the world is so much better and brighter with you in it!  We are blessed to hear about your stories, strengths, and resilience every day.  There is nothing else we would rather do.

Author: Chris Scarberry, LPC
Chris is a Therapist accepting clients at Healing Reflections Therapy

For many folks across the US, the globe, and in marginalized communities this was a hard day.  At Healing Reflections Therapy, we see you. Your pain is valid. Sadness, anger, betrayal, shock, and frustration are all very real and may feel all the more acute when others are celebrating or otherwise blind or uncaring about what you are experiencing. You are allowed to grieve as you need to grieve. 

Grief
Grief occurs in separate and sometimes simultaneous cycles.  It may look like shock, numbness or shutting down.  It may look like anger and wanting to rage at those you believe hurt you and to cut ties with family and friends, it may look like sadness and wanting to cry or stay in bed and eat or drink your feelings.  It may look like bargaining and wanting to rationalize how you can make sense of it, thinking “if I just do x, maybe it won’t impact me”, it may look like denial and telling yourself it’s not over yet, maybe something may change it, or telling yourself or others to get over it.  

Next Steps
Focus on the now. Your brain may be spinning with sooo many possibilities: future fears of changes, loss of rights, concern for your safety and the safety of your loved ones, fears for the choices by lawmakers and the fate of democracy. Instead of focusing on external events that are much bigger than you and beyond your control, focus on what you can do for right now. Think about what you are able to control.
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The serenity prayer reminds us to ask, "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference." This notion of radical acceptance is hard, but can help move you out of helplessness and hopelessness.

 Self-Care
Today is a good day for self-care. What does that mean? It means connect with your support communities, your trusted friends, family members, colleagues, and mental health workers- schedule a meeting, date, appointment, a get together. You could create a group text or join a social media group with like-minded individuals.

Please take some time for yourself. That may mean taking a day or two off of work. Give yourself grace for having to pick yourself off the floor or peel yourself out of bed after maybe having a night or two of less than ideal coping choices.  It happens. Try not to linger there too long. Focus on adaptive coping. Make choices for self-care that will make you feel proud of yourself later and allow you to feel better instead of worse. If you are someone who is in recovery, try to use positive coping skills rather than allow the current political climate to take your sobriety.
Find something that creates meaning in your life. 

Allow yourself to cry and feel your emotional response at times.  You need to get it out.  No one can hold in this much pain and live with it alone.  Rely on chosen family, friends, and community.  

Distraction
You might need to get out of your head for a little while and away from the media frenzy. Try unplugging and refocusing on other areas of your life, if you can, which we realize may be a privilege. Watch a favorite movie. Watch some stand-up comedians on netflix, watch funny pet videos on tiktok, put in your favorite movie- yes, you can go ahead and watch Twilight for the 100th time, throw yourself into some true crime, re-read your favorite YA book, spend time in nature, go thrift store shopping, go to a museum, create some art or play music.


Self-soothing
Self-soothing may look like connecting with your body and 5 senses to bring you peace. It may mean snuggling your fur babies and enjoying the texture of their soft fur, or hearing the relaxing sound of their purr or breathing, it may mean taking a hot bath or cold shower, it may mean making yourself some hot cocoa, putting on your favorite smelling lotion or cooking something that transports you to a childhood memory, cleaning your closet, walking around barefoot in the grass, buying yourself some fresh flowers to smell and look at, making a playlist of songs that bring your inspiration or peace or help channel your rage, enjoying some pumpkin spice whatever fall stuff has to offer, or maybe you put up your Christmas decorations early to surround yourself with things that bring you joy and calm your nervous system.  

Safety Planning
Are you a member of a marginalized group like LGBTQIA+ people or immigrants that is being targeted? Although some may try to minimize your concerns, you know what your experience has been and what you have endured, your fears are valid.  Does making a plan for safety give you a sense of control? For some folks, there may be talks with your loves ones about where in or outside the US you feel most safe and protected. Yes, I know lots of folks talk about leaving the country around elections, which just is not a real feasible for most. So there may be more practical solutions to consider. Are there legal documents that you need to arrange to protect the status of your relationship and/or your loved one? DO you want to work on getting your name change or gender-affirming surgery while that is still definitely possible?  Do you have a list of community spaces where you feel safe and people who you can trust? Don't allow people who do not see your pain or the situation accurately to deter you from doing what you need to do to be as safe and comfortable as possible.

Re-focusing your energy on Advocacy
For some people the best way to deal with this immense sense of lack of control is to look for ways to feel in control. This may look like volunteering for a cause or group that is important to you. It may mean joining your local political group and focusing on the next local election.  It may mean spending time supporting local marginalized communities. 

Hope
It is never wrong to hope. Do not be ashamed or mad at yourself for allowing yourself to hope. Sometimes that is all we have. If you are familiar with the Greek myth of "Pandora’s Box," then you know that when Pandora, the first woman on earth, was given a gift by Zeus, she was told not to open it. When Pandora gave in to her curiosity and opened the box, it was said she unleashed all the evils, sickness, disease, evil and horrors unto the world, but at the bottom of the box was HOPE.  

I often think about Red’s line in Shawshank Redemption “Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things.”

As crisis counselors we know that people die when they lose hope.
For those in power, we know that hope can be a threat to their power. In Hunger Games President Snow tried to stamp out hope in the districts, because he recognized hope could be dangerous.
From research on Learned helplessness, we know that it happens when we lose hope, people & animals give up opportunities for freedom from terrible situations even when presented to them...I won't tell you the story about the experiment because it will depress you even more (you can google Seligman's story if you really need to know more). 
Never be ashamed of having hope and choosing to believe in a better tomorrow. History repeatedly has shown us that the worst periods, the worst wars, the worst regimes do not endure, the human spirit does.

Remember, this is a marathon relay, not a sprint. You are not alone. He won't be the thing that breaks you.  Getting to the other side of this likely will mean a lot of pain and discomfort along the way. You may not look the same or feel the same when you come out of it. You may learn hard lessons along the way. You may be a different person on the other side of it all. The losses you suffer may not be fair or just. At times you may fall back and need someone else to tap in while you step back and allow yourself to rest for a while. Don't be afraid to ask for what you need and pause when you have to.  You have been though hard things before. You can do hard things. Throughout the world and history people have gone through enormous suffering, but humanity has endured...and generally moved toward progress. Have faith. Have hope. Have Courage. Have Endurance. Be Persistent. Have Heart. We are here to pass you back the baton when you are ready.

If you are needing help finding a good therapist, we are here for you . Or you can check out this article on how to Find a good Therapist https://www.hopehealreflect.com/mental-health-articles/how-to-find-a-good-therapist​

Authors: The Healing Reflections Therapy Team

​In doing my clinical work, I spend much time supporting and processing the reactions of vulnerable clients from marginalized populations to the current and recent political climate in the United States which has included the Supreme Court ruling that took away federal abortion protections.  For myself and among clients I see, many of whom are not female assigned or identified, a fear nonetheless set in that many of the freedoms, values, and protections that came about as the result of tireless fighting and advocacy for workers, women, people of color, and LGBTQIA+ people, and others could/will be on the chopping block. 
 
Doing the clinical work that I do, I especially found many of my transgender and/or Queer clients fearing for the state of their marriages, their employment, their right to a safe abortion and also for their physical safety in ways that they had not since before the Obama administration.  In many cases, this very real fear has led to an exacerbation of mental health symptoms already present or created symptoms of a severity and duration necessary to warrant an Adjustment Disorder Diagnosis or a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder.  To look at how some of the composite reactions I've seen have led to symptom creation and exacerbation, let's take a look at the criteria for Major Depressive Disorder as it relates to the experiences of clients and others as reported and observed and discuss how we as clinicians in this practice approach supporting clients with these symptoms and societal concerns.
 
The symptoms that are potentially part of a depressive episode include: depressed mood, loss of interest/pleasure, weight gain or loss, thoughts of death or suicide, feelings of worthlessness/guilt, fatigue, insomnia/hypersomnia, decreased concentration.  These symptoms need to exist in an episode which lasts 2 weeks or more.  I have seen symptoms such as these arise for the first time or be exacerbated by the current circumstances.  In my clinical work, most notably, I have seen these symptoms arise in clients pertaining to both the recent Supreme Court ruling coupled with comments made by a justice that he might be inclined to vote to overturn the past Marriage Equality ruling that federally legalized marriage for Queer-Identified Individuals.  These federal events coupled with Missouri taking steps to orchestrate one of the most rigid statewide abortion bans in the country, led many of my clients to contemplate leaving the state or residing in a more progressive country.
 
In terms of how I’ve seen symptom creation, depressed mood was most frequently caused by negative and invalidating reactions to the local political situation by clients’ loved ones.  The disillusionment caused by this disconnect often leaves Queer and Trans people wondering how their family and purported friends can support politicians, institutions, and businesses that have agendas and take measures that treat marginalized people in invalidating, harmful, personal safety-jeopardizing ways.  Loss of interest/pleasure in activities often relates to limits in the ability to comfortably engage in hobbies.  Clients often have feelings of worthlessness related to feeling as though their safety and value as a person are being undermined when things like so called “bathroom bills” are being voted upon to not allow transgender people to use the bathroom that corresponds with their identified gender or when Queer and Trans client see reproductive rights for women being rolled back and understandably worry that their much more recent/tenuous rights will be next on the chopping block.  All of these concerns can and have disturbed my clients’ sleep, appetite, and made them feel drained and exhausted.  As such, some, in addition to considering relocation are considering trying psych meds for the first time.  We have been processing the resulting elevated symptomology with our clients and, when needed, referring them for additional services like psychiatric care, support groups such as those at MTUG, 12-Step meetings at place such as the Alano Club, and normalizing our client’s fears and concerns related to the ways in which they are understandably symptomatic/experiencing elevated levels of symptoms due to the fear of losing the already unacceptable level of rights and benefits that were fought for during Stonewall and for decades since, and generally assisting in the formulation of “created family” for our clients who are often being harmed by their biological families and systems of power.
 
If you are someone who is hurting or feeling isolated or in-danger as a result of the current political environment, please know that you are not alone and that others are also struggling markedly with their mental health.  Please know also that even though it can be especially scary for people who have been let down and marginalized by people who should have helped and cared about them, there are service providers some of whom are in the community who are open, affirming, and are advocating both in the field and in their personal lives for LGBTQIA+ people, their marriages, their personal safety, their need for safe spaces including bathrooms, and the need for greater awareness of the needs of this community for the competence of service providers.  While many of us feel that these are dark, scary political times and will be for some time, we at Healing Reflections Therapy are dedicated to affirming and defending the rights of the Queer and Trans communities as well as cisgender women and communities of color. 

​~Chris Scarberry, LPC
 

As many sexual trauma survivors are feeling re-victimized by the political climate, the justice department suddenly made changes the definitions of sexual assault, significantly narrowing it, limiting the ability for victims to receive justice, and reducing the safety of our community.  Read more here in a statement from the National Partnership to End Interpersonal Violence.
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https://www.npeiv.org/official-statements/rapid-response-to-the-redefining-of-sexual-assault

It has been almost a month since #MeToo flooded social media. Since then, almost a daily parade of new sexual harassment, abuse, or assault allegations are being brought to light about accused perpetrators like Harvey Weinstein, James Toback, Charlie Sheen, Louis C.K., Ed Westwick, Roy Moore, and Kevin Spacey. The responses by the accused have varied from silence, to deflection, to admission, to outright denial.

Some statements have puzzled people, wondering how could they not know what they were doing was wrong or would upset someone else? Sadly, this relates to a concept frequently found in my therapy practice, in which many victims are astounded when they realize that their rapist doesn't know he is a rapist. After the assault the perpetrator may act casual, inviting them for breakfast, acting affectionate, kiss them, or invite them on another date. They behave as though what had occurred was completely consensual despite the fact that moments or hours before they were holding the victim down, whispering threats in the victim's ear, ignoring the victim's cries of pain or profound lack of interest or engagement, or ignored the fact the victim was intoxicated, passed out, or vomiting and while they pursued sex.
 
Sometimes the victim will run into the perpetrator months or years later and be astounded at how "normal" they act. They may approach them like friendly, long lost friends seeking to engage in polite conversation. They may reach out to the victim over social media with casual "hellos" and "how have you beens?" The victims may react in paralysis, fear, or rage and are additionally astounded when they see the look of confusion reflected in their perpetrator's face.

The victim/survivor comes into my office begging the question: Is it possible that my rapist does not know he raped me? Sadly, in some instances, the answer may be yes. For those that lack empathy, awareness of others boundaries or feelings may not exist. The default is: if this benefits me, my actions are ok. Lack of empathy can be the bi-product of someone in a status of power or privilege, "Just boys being boys," "locker room talk," or "old school." For other sexual violence perpetrators, they may have a sense, if not clearly know what they did was wrong, but use elements of denial, minimization, deflecting blame, or manipulation to escape any form of personal accountability to seep into their conscious awareness.

Is it possible that some of these celebrities really did not know that what they were doing was wrong? Well, since they kept the secret and did not exhibit those behaviors in public, then probably on some level they did know. I would argue that they probably were in a position that did not serve them well to think it was wrong.  "He/she really wants this," "They deserve this," "I deserve this," "They like how it feels," "Everybody does it" are all arguments used to justify sexual violence. Think of it this way: if you were about to step on an ant and crush it, you would probably tell yourself that have good reason to do so, that it won't matter, that they cannot feel anything, that you are really being helpful...but you can do this because essentially you see the ant as significantly less powerful and less important than yourself. At least if you think about killing a shark you may still justify the kill, but you will still probably worry about the consequences to yourself because the shark is inherently more powerful. Power, control, status, privilege, and lack of empathy play important roles in supporting rape culture. When way are so inundated in rape culture, like a lobster in pot slowly brought to a boil, we may not even realize we are in danger of becoming the next meal because the environment around us was already so unhealthy in the first place.
Megan Garza, MA, LMFT  2011011850 MO
Sexual Trauma Therapist ​

Recently, we have seen a flurry of news scandals relating to sexual harassment and sexual assault such as with several prominent politicians, Bill O'Reilly, Bill Cosby, the DJ in the Taylor Swift case, Kesha's producer, and now Harvey Weinstein. In the wake of the Weinstein scandal, when daily claims of different celebrities and other aspiring actresses being sexually harassed and assault mounted, the #MeToo was popularized by Alyssa Milano as a means for individuals to speak out about sexual harassment and sexual assault so that people could get an understanding of the depth of the problem. 

As a sexual trauma specialist, people have asked me my thoughts about #MeToo, in some cases in hopes that I would support their disapproval. I have heard the controversy that it should only be for men. I have heard people claim that the movement minimizes "real" trauma experiences. I have heard the criticism that it shames people for not speaking out or that people are being judged for not using #metoo, and in some cases there has even been a backlash of #notme in response.

Sexual violence continues to exist because of the silence and the complicity of silence that surrounds it in the culture. Survivors do not feel safe sharing their secrets, because the culture does not allow them to feel safe enough to do it. Often the most severe symptoms people experience in relation to their traumatic experiences dissipate once survivors speak out about their victimization and are able to let go of the burden of secrecy. Secrets tend to be a source of shame. I celebrate with those that are able to speak out and simultaneously my heart hurts for those who may be in very real circumstances that keep them from safely sharing their stories.  They may not have had choice over their victimization, but they do get to choose when and to whom they share. 

Women and Men speaking out with the #metoo breaks the silence that surrounds and sustains sexual violence. It allows women and men to see that they are not alone. It is empowering to those that bravely share their stories and receive the support of a community of other survivors, who are then inspired to share their own stories. Watching the newsheadlines break of Ashley Judd, Rosanna Arquette, Kate Beckinsale, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mira Sorvino, Claire Forlani, Heather Graham, Angelina Jolie, Rose McGowan, Terry Crews,  James VanderBeek, America Ferrera, Reese Witherspoone, Jennifer Lawrence, McKayla Maroney and many others was both heartbreaking and inspiring to see what a watershed moment this was. The damn was broken. The possibility for change and the promise of healing awaits.  Indeed, Reese Witherspoone gave a speech at Elle Women awards this week and was quoted as saying "I felt less alone this week that I have ever felt."

It does not matter whether a person experienced sexual harassment or assault or rape, the point of #metoo is that no one should have to experience any of those things.  Every form of sexual violence is "real." It impacts one's self esteem, confidence, sense of safety, identity formation, their beliefs about themselves, and their overall health.  I recall a professor once who gave the account of being french kissed as a teenager by parent that was taking her home after a babysitting job. She polled the classroom and asked the class is we thought this was sexual abuse (It is). A few of us uncomfortably raised our hands. She stated that she did not think it was because it was disrespectful to other survivors who had it worse. Today, when I am going through worksheet with definitions of child sexual abuse with clients, my awareness of tongue kissing on the same list with vaginal penetration takes me back to the memory of that moment in class when I saw a woman struggling so much to come to terms with her own trauma, that she felt compelled to poll her classroom to tell her she was not a victim.  I see this all the time as a therapist, new clients who are struggling to come to terms with their own victimization will often enter my office telling me that they  do not think they "belong there," that they are taking up the space of someone who had it "much worse" than them, but in truth these are all just ways of minimizing their own experience. What they are really saying is " I do not want to see myself as a victim." To realize that means you admit you were powerless at the time of your victimization, which implies that you cannot control everything. This, in turn, is scary knowing that the world is an unpredictable place and that bad things can happen to good people. Shaking someone's worldview is tough. Helping someone transition from seeing themselves as Victim, to Survivor, to Thriver is ultimately our goal.  It helps to remind people that trauma is trauma, it does not matter what form of sexual violence happens to someone, or how one perceives it, none of it is ok.   

To critics that suggest that #MeToo is only for women, remind them that 1 in 6 men experience sexual violence before they are 18. Although women are at higher risk of sexual violence throughout their lifespan, arguably men face even more stigma around speaking out due to cultural beliefs about masculinity and myths about sexual orientation. Men experience the same trauma symptoms as women. Bottom line: Sexual violence is never OK. Any movement that gives people the courage to share and get support and validation, should be praised. We cannot change a problem in our culture until we acknowledge that a problem exists. There are people in powerful positions preying on other people and they need to stop. This week we took a step forward by bringing the secrets of the perpetrators' wrongdoing to light.

Megan Garza, MA, LMFT  2011011850 MO
Sexual Trauma Therapist 

A common misconception is that rapes must happen by force. People often visualize a bloody, battered victim who yelled and tried to fight back against a stranger who pulled them into the bushes. This is a very  unlikely scenario for a variety of reasons, one being that 75-85% of sexual assaults are perpetrated by someone the victim knows, not a stranger. Often, the perpetrator is a friend or a loved one, possibly even a spouse or partner. Definitions of Sexual assault/abuse/rape all can include "lack of consent". When someone is drugged, unconscious, asleep, under the influence of drugs or alcohol, disabled and unable to understand the situation, or too young, or in a situation where they are compromised and unable to make a reasonable decision, they lack they ability to consent to sex. No resistance is necessary. Federal rape law is: "Penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim."
State laws vary.

Unfortunately, many people who are sexually abused are "frozen" with fear or dissociated at the time of their assault and are unable to fight, yell, or struggle. This sadly leads them to inappropriately blame themselves or for others to blame them for the abuse instead of the one truly at fault, the perpetrator.

Related to my recent post, Huffington Post just published an article on survivors speaking out on how they were impacted by the election and how it mirrored their trauma experience. Worth a read.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/7-survivors-on-what-it-means-to-have-a-man-accused-of-sexual-assault-in-the-white-house_us_583c7163e4b01ba68ac5732a

Given all the talk about sexual assault and trauma survivors coming forward about past allegations of abuse, the presidential election has shown a spotlight once again onto sexual abuse and the ill treatment of survivors. 

Although there is a benefit to  increasing the national conversation  on  sexual assault towards the goal of improving  treatment for survivors and reducing overall victimization rates,  there is a profound impact on trauma survivors who find their PTSD  symptoms retriggered.  

In the weeks leading up to the election  there was  increased reports of trauma survivors  calling crisis lines like RAINN  and  therapists who treat trauma survivors were reporting  high levels of distress and increased PTSD  symptoms among clients who were previously doing better. Survivors reported experiencing an increase in flashbacks, resurgence in nightmares, recalling aspects of the trauma at unwanted times in intrusive ways, heightened levels of fear, discomfort with leaving the house, and reminders of shame/guilt/and inappropriate self-blame prompted by victim blaming talk in the media.

There was even discussion of how the election was triggering perpetrators as well, resulting in the possibility of people being retraumatized.  

Whether evidence truly supports the connection between the election and victimization rates or symptom rates, it is clear to people on the ground level that the election and post-election  has sent a wave of aftershocks through the sexual trauma world and women in general. Since 43% of women experience sexual abuse or assault at some time in their life according to the Office for Victims of Crime and CDC, then it is imperative that the public be aware of how trauma survivors across the world may be impacted by, sometimes unknowingly by current events.

​Author: Megan Garza, MA, LMFT

Thanks to social media, the public finally gets a glimpse of what sexual trauma looks like. A survivor of campus sexual assault, who  was found unconscious behind a dumpster with her dress pushed up over her shoulder and her underwear  and bra removed , while her attacker fled and was pinned by two good summaritans who had caught him in the act has now spoken about her experience in a very  moving impact statement. There are so many tragedies in the situation, one being that had it not been for the witnesses this case would likely never have gone to trial, and a brutal rapist would have gone free to harm others.  She  or he would be blamed  for drinking too much. Their sexual behavior would be called into question and just as in her case, it would be reframed as a consensual act. That she was never notified of what was happening in her case or what even happened to her while she was unconscious and had to learn about it online truly breaks my heart.   The fact that the man was only given 6 months prison time may seem awful, but most victims will never see justice. The perpetrators often go unpunished, the crimes  left univestigated, or unprosecuted, or the sentences are merely probation.  The fact that the perpetrators father defends his  violence as "20 minutes of action"  that should be ameliorated with him giving lectures on the dangers of alcohol and promiscuity ( as if alcohol made people into savage rapers of the unconscious) only adds insult to injury and perfectly encapsulates  the blinding of rape culture. This case is no anomally. It just highlighted the true brokenness of our society and its justice system. 

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/jun/06/stanford-sexual-assault-case-victim-impact-statement-in-full?CMP=fb_gu