Disability Awareness Month: Do's and Don'ts of Illness and Chronic Pain

Photo by Chris Scarberry

It is disability pride month, and while a lot of disabilities have outward signs, disabilities such as chronic illness and chronic pain are not always visible.
How can you help those close to you who suffer from chronic illness and chronic pain?

​Invisible Chronic Illness and Chronic Pain
Chronic illness can come with invisible sources of pain and discomfort. For example, arthritis comes with pain in the joints, and asthma leaves individuals with difficulty breathing and challenges catching their breath after exercise or even minor activities. Some chronic illnesses, such as autoimmune diseases, lead to reduced overall capacity, high levels of fatigue, and daily body aches.
In addition to their symptoms, those with chronic illness face increased difficulty completing tasks, have the additional responsibility of balancing and managing medication, and have to rearrange priorities daily.  Oftentimes, their illness may prohibit them from fulfilling certain expectations and obligations.
Some chronic illnesses and chronic pain conditions may not be visible but are still affecting those with these conditions on a day-to-day basis.  In order to understand how someone is feeling, communication is key!

Say No to Toxic Positivity.
Toxic Positivity is the misplaced over-promotion of the good in the given event while ignoring that the person is facing tragedy, trauma, or chronic difficulties.
These phrases usually start with “At least” or “Well, it could be worse” and lead to minimized emotion and empathy for what the person is struggling through. Using toxic positivity is invalidating and not supportive.

Listen with compassion and empathy.
Managing chronic pain and maintaining a chronic illness comes with surprising challenges at all stages. Having someone to listen to can help alleviate stress and manage larger emotions that come with a lifelong diagnosis. It's helpful to ask questions about the pain and Illness, and to try to understand what the person is going through.
By listening with empathy, you can help them feel validated and supported.

Ask how you can help.
Due to fatigue, pain, and the overall stress of having a chronic illness, it could be helpful to ask if there is anything you can do to help them.
Whether it be helping them keep their space clean, running errands, or sitting and chatting, having someone to help relieve the demands on their time and energy can help them later be present with family and friends.

When pain flares and fatigue increases, it can be hard for someone to complete the tasks they set out to do for the day, week, or month. Some tasks are not completed at all, as they try to meet the hierarchy of their needs. All they can do is the essentials to survive.
If there is something that you can do to help alleviate the constant pressure, it could be very helpful not only in the moment but in the future for that person.

Written by Jordan Langley, BA, BS, MA, SMFT
​Jordan is a Therapist at Healing Reflections Therapy. She is currently accepting clients.

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