How to Handle Seeing Your Therapist Outside of Their Office

Your therapist is a functioning member of society, and, as a result you may find yourself in spaces that overlap with them. This is especially true if your therapist is part of the community they work with.

That means you might run into them at a grocery store, an event at the park, a bar or restaurant, the movies, or on a walk through your neighborhood.
So, what do you do?

First: Don’t Panic. You get to choose what comes next.
Second: Don’t make it weird.

​Privacy is the Priority
The general rule for therapists is that we don’t acknowledge you unless you acknowledge us first. This isn't because we dislike you or don’t want to say hi, but because we are protecting your privacy. 
Walking up to you or talking to you may inadvertently disclose your identity as a client to others present, and we respect and honor your right to choose who knows about you and your mental health journey.

There may be perfectly valid reasons you don’t want the person you are with to know that you are in therapy and only you know what your comfort level is. So, here are some options of how you can handle seeing your therapist outside of the therapy setting.

Option 1: Do nothing.
You can simply continue with whatever activity you are already doing. Your therapist is not going to approach you, join in your activity, or initiate a conversation with you or the people you are with.
Depending on the location and situation, it might be uncomfortable for you or your therapist, and it’s okay for either of you to leave or change activities. Everyone has different thresholds for what they are comfortable with, but it also doesn’t have to be weird. And honestly, many times clients are so not used to seeing us out in the wild they don't even recognize us at first.

Option 2: Say hi and keep moving.
You may wish to simply acknowledge your therapist in passing, and they’ll likely say hi or nod back, but still won’t initiate a conversation that might indicate that they know you more than any other passerby.

Option 3: Strike up a conversation with us.
It is up to you if you want to start a conversation and disclose to the people you and your therapist are with that they are your therapist. Feel free to do so if you’re comfortable with it.
Keep in mind, people will naturally be curious if you start talking to a stranger and don’t offer an explanation into how you know them. If your therapist is with their own family members or friends, they cannot be the one to say that you are a client, but those people know that their loved one is a therapist so they’ll likely infer who you are.

But please remember, we still want to respect your privacy when we are out of session and don't want to have an impromptu session with you on the street. Also, we definitely don't want any What About Bob Scenarios going on either- IYKYK.

We Follow Your Lead
Regardless of how you choose to or not to engage with us in public, we will follow your lead. It may be strange to see us and how you handle that is up to you. We can discuss and process any feelings that arise from seeing us outside of the therapy setting during our next session.

Exceptions?
One possible exception to all of this is if you are at a client focused event put on by your therapist or their agency. In that situation your presence creates the assumption that you know one of the therapists. However, we still won’t engage in “therapy talk” any differently than we would with the general public. That would not be the time or place to dive into the deep and private matters of your mental health and personal traumas. We’re not out here to put your personal business on blast and prioritize respecting your privacy and comfort.
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If you’re still unsure how to handle seeing your therapist, please have that conversation with them. Talk about what might make you uncomfortable and work with your therapist to develop a plan that would help you manage the situation. We’re here to help!

Author: McKayla Kagie Robinson, MS, PLMFT
McKayla is a Therapist at Healing Reflections Therapy. Contact her to set up an appointment.