Managing Social Anxiety, PTSD, and Agoraphobia During Summer Event Season

BurningMan event art photo by Megan Garza

Summer is a great time for social events like Pride and Juneteenth festivals, 4th of July celebrations, family BBQs and reunions, weddings, concerts, and camping trips. But for those with social anxiety, PTSD, and agoraphobia, these events can be the source of worry, stress, dread, shame, guilt, and relationship conflict.

I often have clients lamenting that they want a more enriched life beyond their bed or home, but don’t know how to strike a balance with their fear and nervous system dysregulation.  They realize that they are missing out on potentially beneficial experiences but are unsure how to best cope with their social anxiety and challenge themselves.

One thing that surprises people who have lifelong struggles with anxiety is that it is one of the mental health areas that is highly amenable to treatment when given the right combination of resources and approaches. Does that mean a type A person can become a type B person, probably not, but for those whose lives feel unmanageable, science has proven that collaborative therapy along with the appropriate medications can make a substantial difference in someone's baseline anxiety levels.

The bad news is that in order for things to get better, you usually have to get a little bit uncomfortable first; usually through a series of small dose exposures to the situation that causes anxiety and pairing it with relaxation strategies to regulate the nervous system.

So what does that mean for managing these big summer events? What can you do to make things better?

• Start in small doses. Make steps toward change one small step at a time. Start practicing with going to smaller event, one you are more familiar with, or closer to home. Plan to be there for a shorter duration of time than the entire event.
• Make a plan. Before you go, think about your strategy for how you will handle it if your anxiety starts to flare. Talk with the people in your party beforehand about it. Take your own form of transportation so you do not have to rely on someone else if you need to leave or need a quiet place to retreat.  Consider taking breaks if applicable.
• Research the venue. Give yourself an added sense of control by getting a picture of the space and region.  Understand the layout and exits and bathrooms from the start. Also look for quiet hideaway spaces or places with grass or calming scenery.
• Give yourself permission to leave early. This is a tricky one. When tackling anxiety, making an appearance is better than nothing at all. It is ok to leave an event early. However, be mindful that leaving an area that is the source of anxiety if you are having a panic attack tends to reinforce leaving and avoidance- it is essentially giving a lollypop to the screaming toddler in the checkout lane, only increasing that same likelihood of future unwanted behavior. Ideally, it is best to use your coping skills and wait until the panic attack has reached its peak (usually within 5-15 minutes) and has started to come back down before leaving the situation.  Knowing you are only planning on staying at an event for 30 minutes from the get-go can make a difficult situation more tolerable.
  
  If you want to avoid hurting others feelings, it is often best to let them know your intentions to only stay a brief time or that you might choose to leave if your anxiety level is higher than you can manage. For family events, hopefully you know and trust them enough to disclose to them that you are working on overcoming your anxiety concerns and they will not take your early departure personally. 
  
  When it comes to leaving early, it is probably not advisable to go with someone to see their favorite artist or commit to a week at Burningman and want to leave early without causing hurt feelings. So be mindful of which situations you decide to try to expand your window of tolerance on.
• Identify safe people to attend with who understand your concerns and are willing to support you. Having a supportive person or pet with you can go a long way in building your security as you practice your skills. A great accountability partner can be there to remind you of your skills and help coach you or be a great distraction when needed. Remember, secrecy and shame often go together. Your willingness to be open about your struggles can create an opportunity for real, meaningful connection. People are often much more judgmental when they do not understand something and are more likely to take others' actions personally.  Openness can change defensiveness.
• Practice positive coping skills. If you don't already know them, look into some deep breathing techniques like box breathing, practice progressive muscle relaxation, use grounding skills related to your senses and things you see, hear, taste, touch, and smell in your environment. Have a relaxation playlist at the ready.
• Bring a relaxation tool kit. Pack a bag with things that you can use to help you feel better- some tea, ice water, an altoid to help you ground, a frozen lemon to squeeze and use your 5 senses, a stress ball, your favorite worry stone or crystal, a ring of your coping skills cards, some noise canceling headphones, some snacks to help regulate your body, something with your favorite smell on it, pictures of your favorite things on your phone, have a meditation app saved on your phone, and/or bring a blanket to lay down on.
• Know your limits.  Don't push yourself too far or too fast or you will likely worsen the anxiety and become flooded. The goal is mastery one step at a time. 
• Sit/park on the periphery. Some events and venues can seem overwhelming with the crowds, but a lot of time you can wait to come in later or park and walk from far away to give yourself more space. Many times there are far away spaces away from the crowds that allow you to be there and enjoy it but from further distance. Your car can always be a place that you come back to to take breaks intermittently.
• Practice Visualization exercises. Prior to the event, visualize yourself walking through each step of the process, imagine how you would react to challenges and see yourself mastering them while practicing relaxation strategies to calm yourself.​
• Take breaks. You don't have to always leave, you can also give yourself permission to take breaks by going to the car, a bathroom, your tent, a quiet room, standing outside a venue. You can do this multiple times an hour if you need to and still be part of the festivities, but also allow yourself room to calm your nervous system.

Anxiety can be crippling, but there is hope and you don't have to go though this process alone. If you are wanting to work with a counselor on social anxiety, PTSD, or agoraphobia reach our to one of our therapists today at Healing Reflections Therapy.

Authors: Megan Garza, MA, LMFT, Chris Scarberry, MA, LPC
Megan is a Therapist at Healing Reflections Therapy